It seems the global credit crunch has hit 1806 in 2008. Financial market turbulence has obviously affected this bar, because drink levels are down. They were hoping we wouldn't notice their cost-cutting measures, but after receiving three drinks that each would have fit on a teaspoon, we cottoned on.


Their stinginess was also on display when they scooped a half-melted Sara Lee pudding out of the punnet, dumped it into a normal kitchen glass, microwaved it for 30 seconds on medium-high, and lightly sprinkled it with Franklins No-Frills Cocoa. Simply drizzle with paint thinner, and voila!

When the cocktail arrived with a dessert spoon instead of a straw, we knew something was awry. We consulted the menu to see if we had accidentally ordered a soup. The croutons were missing, so it couldn't have been soup. But this clearly wasn't a cocktail; what was it?

Aha! We had a Eureka moment. The drink brought back vivid memories of travelling down the pet food aisle at Safeway. It was shaped just like Chum poured from the tin -- so chunky you could carve it. This cocktail is like a wet dream for dogs.

This controversial food (it was too solid to call a drink) split the judging panel. Some people would prefer to lick the road rather than ingest this beverage again. Others weren't quite so critical. We settled on a compromise rating of 3 out of 5.

Perhaps a better name for this cocktail would have been "Half filled latte pudding dipped in metho", but that probably wouldn't sell as easily, so "Tom and Jerry" will do.

Posted by Michele and David

Another cocktail at 1806 is the Blue Blazer.

If you think that paying $15-16 merits a decent amount of liquid in the glass, think again. This drink was shallower than the Murray Darling basin and skimpier than your Mum's undies. Perhaps babies could drown in one inch of cocktail, but you're certainly not going to get your thirst quenched if you order this beverage.

If you think that paying $15-16 merits at least some attempt at good presentation, think again. It was a plain coloured liquid in a plain drinking glass. That's it. I'm not kidding.

Thankfully (or not thankfully, if you value your inner organs), this cocktail makes up in sheer potency what it lacks in the presentation and content departments. A mere whiff of this powerful concoction may knock you off your chair, and that's not mentioning the effect on your nose. Want longer lasting SEX? This cocktail surely qualifies as the latest and greatest in nasal delivery technology.

It is served warm (like your Mum), but not even that gimmick can resurrect this hideous drink's deathly taste.

A truly heinous crime against humanity, which deserves no more than a 1.5 out of 5.

Posted by David